Infinitely and Without Apology

Infinitely and Without Apology considers the struggle between self-confidence and self-doubt. This piece explores the idea of developing confidence, particularlybut not exclusivelyas a woman. Women are often socialized to be quiet, or to not take up space. In the face of that, how do we develop the kind of resilience it takes to project and share our voice? This piece moves through the inner well of confidence we may possess as children but lose in adolescence; the experience of losing faith in ourselves and our work; and finally the feeling of rebuilding that inner strength from the inside out, so that in future moments of doubt, we are resilient: we boldly share our voices and our work without apology. Infinitely and Without Apology takes its title from a phrase of Grace Gorski's poem "A Fat Girl's Guide to Loving Her Body," from the anthology Nasty Women Poets (Lost Horse Press, 2017). The full line of the poem from which the title is excerpted reads: "Remember, your bones contain fragments / of galaxies, and if the universe can stretch / infinitely and without apology, so can you." Infinitely and Without Apology was commissioned by the Pasadena Symphony Association and Margaret H. Sedenquist. This piece was premiered by the Pasadena Symphony (David Lockington, conductor).