Through Every Closet Door

Commissioned by Nick May (www.nickmaysax.com) for the I Exist Project, www.iexistproject.org The title of Through Every Closet Door is in reference to a quote by Harvey Milk: 'If I'm killed, let that bullet destroy every closet door.' This work is a series of memorial pieces to people that fought in the gay rights movement and victims of hate crimes and suicide. What is more, it serves as a historical survey of where we began, the turmoil we went through in our community, and how far we have come in the pursuit of LGBTQIA+ rights. The first movement commemorates the Stonewall Riots of 1969. The work is a hybrid between jazz, Motown, and the sound of sirens. The jazz sections paint the sound of New York City, while the patrons of the Stonewall dance to Motown. The ending sirens sound the alarm of the police’s arrival at the Stonewall, instigating the historic riots. The second movement, An Aria for Harvey, is an aria in memory of activist and politician, Harvey Milk. Milk loved Classical music and opera. When he lived on Long Island, he was a regular at the old Met. According to his biography, The Mayor of Castro Street, “Harvey already had his favorite composers by then–Mahler, Strauss, and Wagner–and declared one day, with considerable pomposity, that he considered himself too sophisticated for Verdi.” The third movement, Terror at the Nightclub, is a memorial piece to the victims of the tragic 2016 Pulse Nightclub Shooting in Orlando, Florida and the 2022 Club Q Shooting in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The work is a blend of Latin jazz, techno, and popular styles. The use of Latin jazz is in reference to the Pulse Nightclub shooting, since it occurred on Latin night. The techno passages represent scenes of a dance floor. The work ends with intermittent sounds of gunshots heard in the distance, getting ever closer. The final movement, Rest in Peace, is a memorial work to those who have died by suicide. Suicidal thoughts and attempts are very common in our community. I attempted suicide as a gay teenager growing up in the south, and I was haunted by suicidal ideation for over 20 years. I feel many of the souls we lost would rest peacefully knowing the progress we have made. This is a movement remembering them. Through Every Closet Door is a statement that what happened in the past does not have to be in our future. Much still needs to be done in pursuit of equal rights here and around the world, but we must continue to forge our own path together. After all, the rainbow only appears after it rains.